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Friday, June 27, 2014
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
On to a New Adventure
Well we've officially started the adoption process. It's such a big step that we both felt like we were completely ready for. After looking through our options and at all the different agencies we found one we are very happy with so far and are looking at Domestic Infant Adoption. This means we should be getting a baby that is no more than a few days old!
We are starting the homestudy phase and man is this a lot of work. I never knew my house could be so clean lol. We are also in the process of setting up the nursery and man is that a lot of work. We have to make sure it's gender neutral since we won't know the gender until the baby is here. We also have to buy all the necessary "baby accessories". It's so crazy to think just a few months ago we were talking about the real possibility of never having children and now suddenly BAM we are setting up for baby.
Another big decision that we've made is that I will be breastfeeding. It sounds so crazy and I didn't even know it was possible but apparently it is. I will be starting hormones soon to get my body ready with the help of a lactation specialist. I am so excited and scared at the same time. I think this will the child and I bond so much. Not to mention of course the many health benefits for the baby.
I will be trying to blog throughout this journey to give people insight to our journey. I will also be using this place as one of the many places I will be posting our fundraising events. Adoption is definitely a scary, wonderful journey but also an expensive one. We need to raise at least $16,000 to cover the costs.
It's crazy waking up each day and going through so many emotions at once. Everyday it ranges from being so excited, to terrified, to confused, worried, nauseous, and then back to excited again. My poor husband is going to have me committed soon I swear. I never realized how emotional I could become looking at something as simple as a stain on the counter tops. You look at it and suddenly worry that your house isn't good enough and just know that, that is going to be the stain that makes the social worker say no you aren't cut out to be parents. I know after the "breakdown" I'm stressing over nothing but it's so hard to control all these emotions that are building up inside. I'm not even sure it's possible to focus on anything but this at the moment. I feel like at any moment I am just going to burst from all the stress and anxiety building inside of me.
It's not just the fear of being rejected by the agency though, what if no birth mothers want us, or what if the baby doesn't bond with. Or the biggest what if of all, what if we find out we are terrible parents. My husband is constantly telling me I need to breathe and relax and that it will all work out but I really feel as if THESE WHAT-IFS ARE TRYING TO KILL ME!
In the end I know it will all be worth it, when we finally have a baby to love and call our own. It will be so nice to finally have that missing piece we have been looking for. I really do believe we will be great parents even with the moments of sudden panic. I think I have been working so hard to be a parent and not having it happen that I am sort of still in shock that it may finally be.
Let the waiting begin!
http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/we-re-going-on-an-adventure-/186717
We are starting the homestudy phase and man is this a lot of work. I never knew my house could be so clean lol. We are also in the process of setting up the nursery and man is that a lot of work. We have to make sure it's gender neutral since we won't know the gender until the baby is here. We also have to buy all the necessary "baby accessories". It's so crazy to think just a few months ago we were talking about the real possibility of never having children and now suddenly BAM we are setting up for baby.
Another big decision that we've made is that I will be breastfeeding. It sounds so crazy and I didn't even know it was possible but apparently it is. I will be starting hormones soon to get my body ready with the help of a lactation specialist. I am so excited and scared at the same time. I think this will the child and I bond so much. Not to mention of course the many health benefits for the baby.
I will be trying to blog throughout this journey to give people insight to our journey. I will also be using this place as one of the many places I will be posting our fundraising events. Adoption is definitely a scary, wonderful journey but also an expensive one. We need to raise at least $16,000 to cover the costs.
It's crazy waking up each day and going through so many emotions at once. Everyday it ranges from being so excited, to terrified, to confused, worried, nauseous, and then back to excited again. My poor husband is going to have me committed soon I swear. I never realized how emotional I could become looking at something as simple as a stain on the counter tops. You look at it and suddenly worry that your house isn't good enough and just know that, that is going to be the stain that makes the social worker say no you aren't cut out to be parents. I know after the "breakdown" I'm stressing over nothing but it's so hard to control all these emotions that are building up inside. I'm not even sure it's possible to focus on anything but this at the moment. I feel like at any moment I am just going to burst from all the stress and anxiety building inside of me.
It's not just the fear of being rejected by the agency though, what if no birth mothers want us, or what if the baby doesn't bond with. Or the biggest what if of all, what if we find out we are terrible parents. My husband is constantly telling me I need to breathe and relax and that it will all work out but I really feel as if THESE WHAT-IFS ARE TRYING TO KILL ME!
In the end I know it will all be worth it, when we finally have a baby to love and call our own. It will be so nice to finally have that missing piece we have been looking for. I really do believe we will be great parents even with the moments of sudden panic. I think I have been working so hard to be a parent and not having it happen that I am sort of still in shock that it may finally be.
Let the waiting begin!
http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/we-re-going-on-an-adventure-/186717
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